I want to let you in on a little secret. You can’t have it all. No matter what your
favorite magazine, celebrity guru, or mid-life crisis may be whispering in
your ear, it’s just not possible. And
really, do you want it all? I know I don't.
Before cancer I thought I would grow up to be a wealthy advertising executive/Broadway star/stand-up comedian who
had her own independent life as well as a family, spoke 10 languages, was fit
and looked stunning in a bikini, traveled the world, wrote witty and insightful
novels and occasionally headlined in her own cabaret show in major cities
throughout the country and abroad.
Done snickering yet?
I wish I could say that was just the 10-year old me, but it was also the 20-year-old
me, the 30-year old me, and yes, at times, the 40-year-old me. I didn't want to choose any one thing, because I didn't want to limit myself.
41-year-old me got a cancer diagnosis and finally had to
acknowledge that I am not going to live forever, that I can’t do everything,
and that while dreams are great, accomplishment is more fulfilling. I have finally made some choices about who I
am, and now I can focus my energy on really accomplishing things.
Now I strive to be a good friend, daughter and aunt, a life
coach who supports cancer patients along their journeys, who still loves to
sing, but will settle for an open mic night, a class recital, and maybe someday
a cabaret show, right here in Chicago. I
am funny. I don’t need a stage to prove
that. And yes, I do think I still have a book in me, but it may just stay
hidden in the round belly that will probably never wear a bikini again.
And I am ok with that, because by making choices, and
realizing that I can’t have everything, I have finally found the happiness and
satisfaction that I have been chasing my whole life. So make a choice. You may just find that what you thought would
limit you will actually set you free.
