Facing Fear

As a cancer survivor, I know that some people look at me and see this strong, courageous woman, who fought cancer and won.  I see myself that way sometimes, and I have been fond of saying that I am just not scared of anything anymore, but honestly, that’s not true.

Let me tell you a little secret – starting this new career as a life coach who works with cancer survivors is just a little bit terrifying to me.  Can I really do this?  Who am I to assume this awesome responsibility in other people’s lives?  Will I make enough money?  Will organizations give me access to their members?  Will survivors even want to be coached?  You get the picture.

I have learned over the past five years that facing fears to achieve what we want is how we grow.  It’s how I found my passion, and how I became the strong, courageous woman that a lot of people see.  But I am human and I get held back by my fears like everyone else.

This week, the universe was kind enough to remind me what real fear is.  Elevated liver enzymes in my recent blood work were enough to warrant an ultrasound of my liver.  My doctor really wasn’t all that concerned, but when you have had cancer, you can never be too sure.  Cancer in the liver doesn’t usually have a good outcome, and my world pretty much closed in on me for the 36 hours between my doctor's phone call and receiving the results of my ultrasound.  All clear, thank god, but I distinctly heard the universe saying, “Now do you remember what REAL fear is?”

Today, at the offices of The Cancer Coach, I am making a long list of everything I need to do to get this practice up and running, and I am putting the scariest things at the top of my list.  I am still a bit anxious about them, but I can’t wait to see how much I grow as I face them and move ahead.